Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
