Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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