Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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