By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
