just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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