Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
