I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize