My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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