She announced her abortion via fbk
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
