ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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