i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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