is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
