So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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