I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
