I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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