I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
