i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
