they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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