So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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