I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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