Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
