Say something about gay babies.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
