My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
