Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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