So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize