We're like a lot better than the average bears
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
sex in a hospital.. check
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
