so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
