I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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