you would pick up someone in the library
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
