how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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