think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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