doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
