just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
