saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
