I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
