bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
