it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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