i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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