They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
