did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Randomize
