oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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