I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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