I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize