It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
