We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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