So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
