Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
