i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Your dad touched me again.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
