does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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