After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
