So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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