i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My penis needs a shock collar
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
