you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
