Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
