You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
