She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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