Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
