is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
