I am puke
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
