i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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