return my video game
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize