I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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