I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
