Do you still have your period?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i think i have herpe
just one?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
