I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
