My first STD was from a foam party
My brain says no but my pants say off.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize