I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
