covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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