I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
