glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Even my vagina gasped.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize