Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
