Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
