Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
is that a dick in a sweater?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
