found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
