Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
two words...techno handjob
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
