Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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