Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize