She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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