Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
