ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
