So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
