You really coming over, don't trick.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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