Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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