just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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