If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
