Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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