i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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