Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize