At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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