I heard we made out
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
